


must be (almost) perfect;

by unintentionallyangsty



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: (this is actually just a shit ton of fluff parading as other tropes), Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Brotzly - Freeform, Canon Universe, Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Fluffy Ending, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Romance, Romantic Fluff, Schmoop, it's gay lads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unintentionallyangsty/pseuds/unintentionallyangsty
Summary: When Dirk decides it's time for he and Todd to take the natural Next Step in their relationship, he dives headfirst into the project, eagerly anticipating the "opportune moment" for him to pop the question. However, true to form, he finds himself facing a number of...speedbumpsthe Universe tosses him along the way.(alternatively; 3 times Dirk attempts to propose and fails spectacularly, and one (1) time he doesn't. based off ofthis post.)





	must be (almost) perfect;

**Author's Note:**

> all credit for the idea goes to [lucy](http://literally-not-being-literal.tumblr.com/) and their fantastic prompt posted [here!](https://literally-not-being-literal.tumblr.com/post/165699136318/somebodyplswrite-this) the idea was literally so sweet I couldn't get it out of my head and spent an entire afternoon binge-writing it! so here it is in all it's tooth-rotting, fluffy glory.

The first time Dirk tried it, it was New Year’s Eve, minutes away from midnight and the Seattle Space Needle exploding in a glorious celebration of the passage of time that Dirk had never really understood, but appreciated nonetheless.

It was the third year in a row that Todd had bundled up against the December chill (scarf wound practically to the tips of his ruddy red ears and nose) and ventured out so Dirk could see the celebration firsthand, charmingly earnest about rectifying Dirk’s New Year’s Eves past after the taller man having casually mentioned that he’d never celebrated the holiday before.

It had, therefore, been three years since Dirk had turned from the fireworks display to study his smaller companion, his heart seizing at the sparkling reflection of the pyrotechnics in those wide, blue eyes-- And three years since, in that moment, Dirk had quietly admitted to himself just how deeply head over heels he truly was.

Meaning it had been two years since, the same evening just one year later, Dirk had gripped a scandalized looking Todd by the shoulders, dipped him unceremoniously, and pressed their lips firmly together in the first kiss of many (the latter fact to his utter relief and elation).

It was the third year in a row of their little tradition, and as Todd reached out to wrap his gloved hand around Dirk’s, shooting him a small, amused smile as Dirk bounced in anticipation for the oncoming countdown, Dirk couldn’t think of anything that might make him happier in the moment.

Save for, that is, the small, square box stuffed hastily into the left pocket of his jacket, a stark reminder of the decision weighing heavily on his mind for the past 3 or so months every time the wool of his mitton caught on the velvet of the box, nestled within it a small (almost comically small, though Dirk had guessed at the size on a hunch) silver ring.

It was the natural progression of things, he reminded himself firmly, nodding a little and pointedly ignoring the curious look Todd shot him. In his mind, they’d followed the list of Conventional Romance Rules spectacularly;

People fell in love (check; they’d accomplished that. Dirk was almost as confident in Todd’s feelings as he was in his own, if the small, blissfully happy smiles that sometimes played across the smaller man’s face when he thought Dirk wasn’t looking were anything to go by)

People dated (check; he was relatively certain a number of the cases they’d embarked on over the past two years counted as dates-- this not including the _actual_ dates Todd had insisted that they go on, in order to “get to know each other, if we’re going to make this work”)

And, ultimately, if things were serious (and Dirk thought two years was quite serious enough), people got married.

Which was what had led them to their current predicament. Dirk inhaled a long, steadying breath, his stomach fluttering so violently that, for a moment, he feared he might be ill. _The natural progression of things--_

“Dirk?” Todd’s voice cut through the fog, his brows knit together in what Dirk quickly identified as concern. “Hey, you okay? You don’t look-- Well...well.”

“I’m fine.” Dirk hastily assured, pulling his left hand out of his pocket to wave dismissively, his heart missing a beat when the box nearly followed suit and tumbled out of the hiding place. “Perfectly.” He shot Todd a small, reassuring grin.

Todd’s face smoothed out a little, though he still looked slightly skeptical. “You’re not like-- too cold, are you? We can always…” He trailed off, glancing at the numerous, warmly lit coffee shops scattered behind them, each full nearly to the brim with the less courageous tourists who’d stepped out to watch the event.

“Nonsense, Todd!” Dirk felt his grin loosen into something a little more genuine, and jostled his small companion. “If either of us is too cold, it’s you.” Todd harrumphed and made a face, which was rather off put by the pitiful sniffle he gave not seconds later. “I’ve put your tissues in your pocket.” Dirk reminded him, eyeing the bright red tip of Todd’s nose fondly.

Todd said nothing, but reached into his pocket to retrieve the small packet of tissues Dirk had stored there earlier in confidence that his boyfriend would be needing to blow his miserably cold nose not too long into the evening.

_Boyfriend_. The thought alone brought another small shiver of anxiety. Dirk glanced briefly down at his own pocket, reaching inside to ensure the box was still there, despite having done the same not minutes before. _Perhaps it won’t be ‘boyfriend’_ , _anymore_ , he thought, a little dizzy at the idea, _Perhaps fia_ \--

The mumble of the crowd surrounding them suddenly grew to a roar, cutting off Dirk’s train of thought and drawing him roughly back to the present moment; Todd’s hand tightening slightly around his own, and a few in the crowd around them beginning to count down softly from 60.

“Already?” Dirk moaned to no one in particular, glancing upward toward the heavens and begging the Universe for the courage he could feel currently evading him, slipping just beyond his grasp.

“You don’t look too pleased about it.” Todd called over the growing noise, the space between his brows doing that… wrinkle thing again.

“No, I am!” Dirk nodded fervently. “I’m pleased, it’s just--”

“ _TEN!_ ” The crowd began to chant, and Dirk felt his heart drop like a stone. _It’s now or never._

“Nine!” Todd cried, his lips stretching out into an uncharacteristic, giddy grin, his cheeks flushed beautifully with cold and the beer they’d sipped at not long before.

“Eight.” Dirk whispered, suddenly breathless.

_Natural progression._

Dirk reached into his pocket. _Seven, six, five…_

“Four, three, two!” Todd stepped a little closer, his eyes wide and locked with Dirk’s.

“Todd,” Dirk began.

“One!” Before Dirk could act, Todd threw himself forward, stepping to stand on the tip of his toes and throwing his arms around Dirk’s shoulders before sealing his lips firmly over the taller man’s, the loud crackling of fireworks drumming in the distance. “I love you.” Todd whispered over the tipsy shrieks of, _Happy New Year!_ from all directions.

Dirk blinked a little sluggishly as Todd stepped away, mourning the loss of warmth already.

“I-- You always, well. You always make the first move and I thought--” Todd shrugged a little awkwardly, biting his lip at Dirk’s continued silence. “I thought-- Dirk?”

Dirk gaped, his mind suddenly catching up with him, the cheerful shouts and blaring of _Auld Lang Syne_ slamming full force back into his consciousness. “Todd,” He began, his heart stuttering at Todd’s small, hopeful smile. “I--” He inhaled sharply.

_Now or--_

“ _Choo!_ ” Todd made a disgusted face as the horrifically violent sneeze escaped him so forcefully that he took a bewildered step back--

Right into the frighteningly tall man behind him (taller than Patrick Spring, which was saying something). Dirk watched in awed fascination as Todd stumbled and the other, clearly intoxicated individual turned to face him, only to clumsily upend the rest of his (mainly full) beer directly onto Todd’s head.

“Todd!” Dirk yelped, leaping forward to grab his smaller companion by the elbow and drag him a safe distance away from any potential altercation.

“Jesus!” Todd cackled, when they’d stumbled a good distance away from the majority of the crowd, the light dusting of snow crackling pleasantly beneath their feet. “God!” He laughed again, and turned to face Dirk. “That was--”

“Disgusting.” Dirk cut in, his own grin so wide his cheeks were beginning to ache with it. “And terrifying.”

“Terrifying.” Todd agreed, and mopped a hand through his now thoroughly sticky hair. “Ugh.”

“Not that it would be the first time we’ve had to face off against a large, angry, intoxicated individual.” Dirk pointed out, firmly ignoring the small voice in his mind reminding him that this might be considered stalling. “Except last time there was a rather unfortunate amount of glitter involved.”

“That’s-- Unfortunate, but true.” Todd conceded, before huffing and giving Dirk a small, warm smile.

Dirk felt himself becoming lost in the expression, and took a small step closer to his companion. Maybe it wasn’t too late after all…

“ _Choo!_ ” Todd sneezed again, though a little less violently this time, to Dirk’s relief, and groaned. “Ugh.” He sniffed, a small shiver trembling through his form momentarily. “I’m freezing. Did you want to--” Todd glanced questioningly between Dirk and the fireworks still erupting.

“I’ve seen quite enough, I think.” Dirk was quick to assure, relief practically weakening his knees as he reached forward to loop his arm with one of Todd’s own. “We can definitely go home now! Yes.” He began to propel them forward. “Let’s go home.”

Todd quirked a brow. “You seem eager.”

“Yes, well.” Dirk made an exaggerated face. “You’re miserable to deal with when you’re cold. And...” He trailed off, thumbing at the small box in his pocket with his free hand.

“And?” Todd prodded, frowning a little.

“And?” Dirk blinked. “And-- And I really want to try the hot chocolate Amanda bought us for Christmas so let’s just hurry up already.”

Todd chuckled a little. “She bought it for you, not us. She knows how you are about sugar.”

“Like you haven’t been sneaking into the cabinet for extra cocoa when you think I’m not looking.” Dirk teased, nudging a now flushing Todd affectionately. “You can’t fool me, Todd. The signs were all there! I’m a detective, remember?”

“Like I could forget.” Todd moaned, but moved a little closer so that their sides were pressed warmly together.

Dirk hummed happily, and decided that, maybe, it might be best if he held off on the Next Step for now. If just for a bit.

\---

Unfortunately, Dirk would concede, their lives didn’t often slow down enough to allow much time spent on trivial things such as leisure, pleasure, or things one had been meaning to do (read: putting off) for two and a half months, yet still had not accomplished.

Which was what found them on February 14th of the next year, the small box that had been previously taking up residence at the bottom of Dirk’s sock drawer (practically the only space Todd would not venture in their shared apartment) now gripped in one sweaty palm, hidden beneath the sticky table of the Chinese restaurant they were sitting in.

Todd hated Valentine’s Day, Dirk knew. He had been, however, very warmingly dedicated to doing everything within his power to ensure that Dirk was able to experience every holiday to its full extent, after the initial New Year’s Eve incident.

“It won’t attack you, y’know.” Dirk piped up, over the low music straining from the messy tangle of wiring that made up the stereo-set in the corner of the shabby dining hall, and gestured down to the chow mein that Todd was currently picking at. “Not this time, anyway.”

Todd huffed and shot him a wry look. “I’m, frankly, shocked that I can even look at chow mein anymore.”

“How was I to know that the restaurant was haunted?” Dirk pouted.

“You’re the psychic one.” Todd pointed out past a mouthful of noodles. “Or, whatever. Shouldn’t you, y’know?” He shrugged. “Be able to just-- feel it, or something?”

“Not psychic.” Was Dirk’s knee-jerk reply, so natural now he hardly noticed it. “And, for the billionth time, it doesn’t work like that.”

“How _do_ ghosts work?” Todd wondered aloud. “Like, with your…thing?”

“As we’ve both discovered, not very well.” Dirk shuddered a little at the memory of the eery Chinese eatery, suddenly questioning their culinary decision of the evening. The conversation, he realized, was not at all going as he’d rehearsed it three or four times over in the shower that morning.

For example, here was where Todd was supposed to take advantage of the “romantic environment”, and begin reflecting upon the highlights of their relationship with that soft, wistful smile playing on his face. What he said instead was, “And why are there so many Chinese restaurants involved in our cases?”

And, Dirk thought moodily, here was where _he_ was supposed to step in and say something romantic and very wooing about his ardent appreciation of Todd, before pulling the box out from beneath the table and presenting a shocked Todd with the ring. What he heard himself actually saying, however, was, “It’s Seattle. It’s hardly my fault that you have a truly staggering number of Chinese restaurants here.”

“Maybe it’s because the Universe knows that you like Chinese.” Todd mused distantly, going back to picking at his noodles, rather than brimming with tears and crying out a joyful, _yes!_ in reply to the Big Inquiry Dirk was _supposed_ to have given already, as he had envisioned. “Maybe it’s telling you to take a break.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Todd.” Dirk admonished, begging the Universe for support now. _I do enough for you,_ he mused grumpily at the omnipresent force that may or may not actually have been heeding him, _You could at the very least provide me with a small bit of backup._ “The Universe allows me to have as much Chinese as I want, as we’ve learned well by now.”

“Sure,” Todd snorted, before lifting his eyes from his plate of uneaten noodles to glance at Dirk’s sweet and sour chicken. “Though, by the looks of it, not tonight.”

“Pardon?” Dirk blinked, straightening a little under Todd’s sudden scrutiny.

“You haven’t touched yours.” Todd nodded to Dirk’s plate.

Dirk scrambled for an answer, any plausible sounding excuse as to why the knots in his stomach weren’t allowing him to enjoy his meal. “ _You’ve_ hardly touched yours.” He finally accused.

Todd rolled his eyes. “That’s derailing.” He pointed out unhelpfully. “And beside the point. What’s up?”

“I--” Dirk swallowed, tightening his fingers slightly around the box still clenched tightly in one hand. Maybe this _could_ work, he thought, though he bemoaned the loss of the epically romantic fantasy he’d played out earlier. “Todd--” Todd’s eyebrows rose in expectation, and he moved to set his fork back onto the table.

Dirk cleared his throat, “We--”

A loud _bang!_ interrupted him, and Todd startled so badly his fork fell to the floor with a clatter. They both turned to face the noise, and there was a long moment of thick silence before a muffled scream sounded from the interior of the kitchen.

Todd turned to face him slowly, his eyes wide and face gone somewhat pasty. “We should…” He trailed off.

“Right.” Dirk nodded and stood along with his smaller companion, slipping the box into the pocket of his trousers and setting off toward the now muted wailing with Todd hot on his heels.

\---

“It’s over. The Universe doesn’t want it to happen.”

“Dirk,” Amanda chided, reaching forward across where they were perched on Todd’s sofa to nudge at his shoulder until he glanced up from where he’d buried his face in his hands. “Dude. Cheer up.”

“How?!” Dirk cried, maybe a little melodramatically, he’d admit. “Amanda. My last attempt ended in a murder and our fourth case in a Chinese restaurant, which is becoming a frankly _alarming_ pattern. It’s hopeless.”

“That just sounds like a normal day for you guys.” Amanda moved to take a drag of the joint held between her fingers, pausing to study it thoughtfully before exhaling and extending it politely to Dirk.

“No, thank you.” Dirk declined, wrinkling his nose in distaste and raising a hand to bat the proffered joint away. “And that’s a bit of an assumption, Amanda. We have perfectly--” He hesitated one of Amanda’s brows rose in disbelief. “Normal...days?”

“Right.” Amanda made a face. “Well, just use one of those, then.”

“One of what?”

Amanda groaned a little. “One of your ‘normal days’.” Here she punctuated the point with air quotations.

“But--” Dirk shook his head in confusion. “It has to be...special, doesn’t it? Like a special occasion type thing?”

“Only if you want it to be.” Amanda shrugged. “It’s not like, a rule. You’re not gonna get disqualified if it’s not.”

“But what if Todd won’t accept if it isn’t?” Dirk muttered, his voice coming out quieter and more hesitant than he would have liked. “What if he expects something big?”

“If I know Todd, he doesn’t.” Amanda insisted. “Dude. _Dirk!”_ She bounced a little. “He’ll probably just be happy that you asked at all.” She took another long drag, pouting moodily down at last half inch of the joint now gripped between her fingers before shrugging slightly and tossing it into the chipped coffee mug that sat on the floor beside the sofa.

“But what if he’s, y’know…” Dirk grimaced. “Not?”

“Then he’s an even bigger idiot than even I give him credit for.” Amanda replied immediately, and stood from the couch to stretch a bit. “I’ve known my brother all my life, Dirk.” She added, giving Dirk a pointed look over her shoulder. “I’ve never seen him feel for anyone what he feels for you.” Her voice suddenly shifted into something smaller, and much more sincere. “He’s moody, and he’s a mess. But he loves you. Loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone else before.” She shrugged, as if it didn’t really mean anything to her either way. “In any case, he’s gonna be thrilled. Do you have any cheetos?”

Dirk blinked at the sudden turn the conversation had taken, his emotions reeling a little. “Uh, in the cupboard.” He finally replied, forcing himself to refrain from adding that Todd kept that particular snack food for occasions quite similar to this one. “Amanda--”

“Thanks.” Amanda interrupted, and moved off toward the kitchen. “No offense, but I’d rather be eating those right now than continuing to talk about your and my brother’s relationship, if that makes sense. Just--” She paused, back still to Dirk. “Just be casual about it, alright?”

Dirk huffed a small laugh, and watched as Amanda began her frantic search for cheetos. “If you say so.”

\---

True to form, it was nearly another month following the quite murderous Valentine’s Evening, and Dirk’s adjoining conversation with Amanda, before Dirk found himself with another opportunity on his hands.

He and Todd were walking through the park adjacent to the _Ridgely_ building, hands intertwined as they strolled leisurely, fresh off a case and therefore pleasantly listless as to their destination.

Spring was finally on the horizon, and it was warm enough again for Dirk to be comfortable in only his well loved Mexican Funeral shirt underneath one of his jackets. Todd, however, was still wrapped in one of his thicker flannels (true to form), and chilled enough that he felt the need to press himself warmly up against Dirk’s side as they walked.

This, Dirk mused, or he was simply comfortable keeping the contact between them, a thought that had Dirk’s heart fluttering pleasantly.

“Anyway, Amanda was furious.” Todd was saying, his eyes not on Dirk but flittering about to take in their surroundings, dappled in pale sunshine that reflected breathtakingly off his eyes, Dirk noted. “Like. She’s been wondering how to ask Farah out for _months_ and then, out of nowhere, Farah just texts her and asks. Ha!”

“Well, seemingly nowhere.” Dirk pointed out, his mind remaining stubbornly more focused on the small, private smile playing out on Todd’s face, rather than the conversation itself. “We were privy to her agonizing over the situation for probably longer than was strictly necessary, remember?”

“True.” Todd conceded, turning his smile briefly on Dirk.

“And you knew!” Dirk accused with a grin. “You knew for months and you didn’t tell her. Todd,” He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “She was _agonizing_.”

“I know.” Todd agreed with a sage nod. “But it wasn’t my place to tell! Amanda had to make the first move, or she never would have forgiven me.”

“Or herself.” Dirk added, his voice trailing off into little more than a mumble. He raised his left hand, the one not currently curled around Todd’s own, and fingered at the small box that had pretty much taken up permanent residence in the pocket of whatever jacket he was wearing on any given day.

“Yeah,” Todd agreed, before slowing his steps and turning to give Dirk a long look. “You good?”

“I’m!” Dirk drew himself firmly back to the present situation. “Fine! Perfectly fine!”

“You’ve been-- I don’t know.” Todd trailed off.

“What?” Dirk pounced eagerly on the subject, suddenly confident that this might be the opening he’d been waiting for, and not wanting to miss it before he lost his valor.

“I-It’s nothing.” Todd dismissed with a small shrug, and tugged at Dirk’s arm as if to propel them back into motion. “Come on.”

“Todd.” Dirk insisted. “I know you well enough to know when you have something on your mind.”

“Exactly!” Todd cried suddenly, and with a little more force than Dirk had anticipated. He blinked, but waited patiently for Todd to continue, rather than speak for himself just yet.

The smaller man sighed, though didn’t appear too entirely upset. “I know you well enough to know when something’s on _your_ mind.” He echoed. “You’ve been-- I don’t know. Distant? Not--Not all the time. Just sometimes, but...” He paused and narrowed his eyes. “It’s weird. It’s like-- I don’t want to think that we have to hide things from each other. _Do_ we have to hide things from each other?” He drew in a long breath. “I trust you, Dirk.”

The admission was soft, so soft Dirk almost couldn’t hear it, but Todd refused to break eye contact, even as the words hung heavy between them on the still, spring air.

“Todd,” Dirk finally began, swallowing past the thick lump that had begun to grow in his throat and bringing one hand up to reach into his pocket. He chose to pointedly ignore how Todd tensed beside him, almost as if preparing himself for Dirk to retreat. “I know--”

“Dirk.” Todd interrupted, so suddenly that Dirk cut himself off and shut his mouth with a _click_. Todd paused, brow furrowing in what Dirk knew to be confusion before shoving a little at Dirk’s arm and skittering away. “ _Dirk_.” He bit out between grit teeth.

“Todd?” Dirk inquired, releasing the box and letting his hand fall from his pocket as Todd paled almost dramatically, a frantic, caged look behind his eyes as he glanced back up to meet Dirk’s.

The pieces clicked into place, and Dirk felt his heart drop slightly. “Todd,” He repeated, forcing his tone into something more level, and moved forward so that he was stood directly next to his trembling companion. “What is it?”

“N-Needles.” Todd gestured to his arm, the one previously pressed to Dirk’s side, with one trembling hand, and gasped, “ _Dirk_.”

“It’s okay.” Dirk assured, his voice pitching a little, and reached out, willing his hands to stop trembling as they hovered inches from Todd’s own. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Todd!”

“ _Nnh_.” Todd grunted, squeezing his eyes shut against the sensation for a long moment as his breaths came out in short, uneven pants.

“Your medication.” Dirk continued, when it seemed as if Todd wasn’t capable of replying, just yet. “Todd! Where’s your medication?”

“B-b--” Todd hissed, and clenched his jaw further.

“Backpack!” Dirk finished for him, lurching forward to unzip the bag that Todd insisted they take along with them wherever they went, now hanging from his shoulder. “It’s in the backpack. Of _course_ it’s in the backpack. Stupid Dirk.” Dirk added under his breath, pushing past the first aid kit (that Todd also insisted they take along with them almost everywhere, something about Dirk being “accident prone”, or something along those lines) to unearth the small bottle of medication that lay at the bottom of the pack.

“Here!” Dirk cried triumphantly, shakily uncapping the bottle and extending one pill. “Here, Todd!”

Todd eyed the offering warily before moaning piteously and accepting it, hesitating only momentarily before dry swallowing the pill with a grimace; a true testament to how poorly he was feeling, Dirk reflected, as he was wont to neglecting the remedy for much longer on most occasions.

“There,” Dirk soothed, still forcing himself to keep his hands to his sides, rather than reach out and comfort, as everything within him was screaming at him to do. “It’s alright, Todd. It’s alright.” As long as he lived, he considered, he’d never quite be able to get used to that terrified, trapped look floating behind Todd’s eyes in the midst of an attack.

Todd grunted again and inhaled sharply through his nose, his eyes remaining closed as he continued to gasp for breath.

“We’ll get you home.” Dirk insisted, finally allowing himself to extend a hand and place it near where Todd’s neck met his shoulder. “We’ll go home.” Todd nodded silently, his eyes finally fluttering open to land on Dirk’s face with a somewhat pleading expression, and allowed Dirk to loop his arm back through Todd’s own.

“It’s alright.” Dirk continued, and began to lead them back toward the entrance of the park, his heart wrenching as Todd inhaled a tremulous, wet sounding breath. “It’s going to be alright.”

\---

A week later found Dirk sprawled across Todd’s sofa, a bowl of cereal in his hands as he stewed, nearly full to the brim with frustration.

Which was, he reflected, something of an unfamiliar emotion. Typically, were things not going quite as he had planned (this had happened a _lot_ ), the time it took to allow himself to become frustrated almost always proved itself to being capable of being better spent doing something else. Rather, he simply allowed the Universe to take him in any new direction it wished, and found his footing as best he could wherever he was dropped.

Todd didn’t work the same way, he mused. Todd was almost constantly living in some state of frustration, and was not silent about it, when it occurred. Yes, Dirk decided, moving his gaze to where his smaller companion was curled into the small vacant space on the sofa beside Dirk’s feet. Frustration was much better suited for Todd, and Dirk, therefore, wasn’t quite certain how to move on with the emotion himself; or how he might be able to mold it into something that might at least be useful in assisting him with his current...predicament.

“I never really got just how phony this stuff was until I met an actual ghost for myself.” Todd spoke up through a mouthful of cereal, interrupting Dirk’s musings, and gestured at the ghost hunters currently whispering into their extravagant looking equipment on his television screen. “I--” Todd made to continue, but paused and glanced down at the spoonful of cornflakes brought halfway to his mouth, instead, before exhaling a weary sigh. “I don’t want this.”

Dirk chuckled in spite of himself, his chest swelling with affection as Todd wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Maybe if you let me cook, we wouldn’t be stuck having cereal.” Dirk pointed out, nudging Todd’s thigh with his foot to punctuate his point.

Todd rolled his eyes and groaned a little. “We are _not_ doing that again.” He declared firmly. “Once was enough.”

“It was almost a year ago!” Dirk protested, doing his best to form a pout past his stubborn grin. “I’ve _changed_ since then! I’ve grown! Learned!”

“You melted the microwave and shattered the door!” Todd argued, though he seemed to be having a hard time keeping a smile off of his own face. “How do you even do that? It’s plastic!”

“It was being stubborn.” Dirk insisted.

“It obviously wasn’t meant for whatever you were doing.” Todd muttered. “So no. No cooking.”

“Well,” Dirk continued, as if the little argument hadn’t happened at all. “Since you won’t allow me even remotely near the kitchen anymore after a _minor_ incident.” He pointedly ignored Todd’s incredulous gaping. “And you never feel like cooking--”

“I cook sometimes!”

“And you never feel like cooking.” Dirk repeated, firmly. “Then cereal for dinner is really as good as it’s going to get.”

Todd blinked, before huffing a small exhale that turned into a chuckle, before growing into one of his spectacular, falsetto laughs, his cheeks flushing and his eyes crinkling shut with the force of it.

Dirk watched the expression overtaking his face, his stomach fluttering dramatically (as it always did) at seeing Todd so genuine and openly joyful, even after all this time. He thought of how long it had been since he’d first been privy to such laughs, and how many he’d been granted since that point. He thought of the soft, almost giddy smiles Todd sometimes shot him, in the morning when they awoke curled closely to each other, or when they were simply pressed together on the sofa, just like this.

He thought about the prospect of keeping those smiles with him for the rest of his perceivable time on earth, the concept more than he could have ever possibly hoped for himself, and wouldn’t have even dared until quite recently.

(He thought of his multiple failed attempts at Romantic Gestures and Opportune Moments, in the past few months, but pushed that particular thought firmly to the back of his mind.)

And, Dirk realized belatedly, his thoughts had strayed to the tiny box lying back at the bottom of his sock drawer across the room, unopened as Dirk waited for the Perfect Opportunity.

Something shifted, the Universe giving a faint, glimmering nudge, and Dirk knew that, in spite of everything, this was it.

“I hate cereal.” Todd spoke, suddenly, drawing Dirk back to the sofa and his feet tucked warmly against Todd’s curled legs, and grimaced before taking another bite of his cornflakes.

“Do you want to marry me?” Dirk spoke, the words tumbling out before he could even begin to rethink the decision.

The world seemed to pause for a long, chilling moment. Dirk watched, fascinated, as Todd’s eyes grew impossibly wider, his fingers almost imperceptibly tightening on the spoon still clutched between them before--

Before he promptly began to choke.

“Todd!” Dirk cried, sitting up and reaching out to pound at the smaller man’s back as he gasped and wheezed past the cornflakes in his throat. “Stupid, _stupid_ Dirk.” He muttered, already mentally berating himself for the poor timing.

“ _Jesus!_ ” Todd finally croaked, placing his cereal bowl on the floor with shaking fingers before turning his wild eyed expression on Dirk. “Jesus, Dirk! What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry.” Dirk replied immediately, folding his hands in his lap and glancing down contritely. “In hindsight that was probably a little...impulsive.”

“Impulsive?!” Todd echoed. “No, Dirk, no that was-- fucking out of nowhere, that-- What?”

“What?” Dirk shook his head and furrowed his brow in confusion when it seemed that Todd wasn’t going to continue, and rather continued to stare at Dirk with narrowed eyes in a bemused and somewhat unsteady silence.

“Wha-at--” Todd shook his head a little, glancing down to study the floor contemplatively, almost as if willing himself to continue. “What did you ask?”

Dirk frowned, a flash of irritation flaring within him. “Really, Todd, it’s fine.” He replied, voice kept purposely clipped and curt to mask the dangerous wobble lying just behind it. “I won’t bring it up again and we can move on from this ridiculous situation.”

“No, Dirk.” Todd looked up again, and when Dirk finally worked himself up to doing the same he was somewhat surprised to find the other man’s eyes to be slightly red-rimmed, an open, almost pleading expression on his face. “You can-- I want to hear it again.” Todd winced almost as soon as the words were out, as if they had been particularly painful for him to share.

Dirk blinked, his lower lip quavering for a small moment as he took a deep, steeling breath. “Todd,” He began, and cleared his throat a little. “D-- _Do_ you want to marry me?”

A particularly wide range of expressions flittered over Todd’s face then, which scrunched charmingly along with each one too fast for Dirk to read very accurately.

“I--” Todd gaped, and inhaled a sharp, small little breath of his own. “We’re broke, Dirk.”

“I don’t want anything big!” Dirk replied almost as soon as the words had left Todd’s mouth, his heart fluttering madly with hope as they didn’t _technically_ count as a rejection. “As I’m sure you don’t. I-- Todd!” He cried, smiling tremulously. “I just want to marry you.”

“I--” Todd exhaled slowly, as if forcing himself to remain composed, but his voice cracked a little on the word, the exhale ending on a slight hiccup. “I’m--I’m not good e--”

“Todd Brotzman.” Dirk interrupted firmly, allowing himself to lean forward and place his hands gently on either side of Todd’s warm neck, his thumbs automatically beginning to rub soothing circles into the skin just below his ears. “You are the best man I’ve ever known.”

Todd eyed him with those impossibly wide and glassy eyes for a long, breathless moment, his expression almost manic, before swooping forward to press his lips firmly to Dirk’s.

“ _God_ ,” He gasped against Dirk’s mouth, the sound suspiciously close to a sob, and pulled away slightly to rest his forehead against Dirk’s. “Fuck you, Dirk. _Jesus_. We don’t even have rings. This--”

Before Dirk could stop it, a loud and wild laugh bubbled within his chest and escaped him. He felt his own cheeks begin to grow wet as the corners of his eyes crinkled into a wide grin, but found that he could hardly care. “I have a ring.” He gasped, suddenly a little breathless, and pecked Todd’s lips with his own again. “I just didn’t think to, you know, grab it.”

Todd laughed, another long, high pitched thing, and threw himself forward so that his arms were wrapped tightly around Dirk’s shoulders, his suspiciously damp face buried tightly against Dirk’s neck. “God,” He whispered faintly. “ _God_. I love you so much.”

Dirk exhaled another sob, feeling as if his chest might literally burst, and wrapped his own arms tightly around Todd’s trembling frame. “Is this a yes?” He murmured, and buried his face in the curls at the crown of Todd’s head.

“Fuck you if you think you’re getting out of this now.” Todd replied, voice still trembling, and squeezed Dirk’s shoulders tightly.

Dirk chuckled. “Sorry it wasn’t--” He paused and gestured vaguely with the hand not currently rubbing Todd’s back softly. “Perfect?”

“It was perfect.” Todd smiled slightly against Dirk’s neck, his cheeks dimpling with the force of it. “It was-- Jesus, Dirk.” He sighed, the sound small and blissful.

“If we were to get pizza for dinner instead,” Dirk ventured, “would that make it even perfect...er?” He leaned down slightly in an attempt to catch Todd’s eye.

“You just want pizza.” Todd accused, opening one eye and gaping up at him with mock horror. “That’s all this was, wasn’t it?”

“Absolutely.” Dirk confirmed with a shrug, before his face dissolved back into a happy smile.

Todd chuckled, and burrowed a little closer. “Yeah, yeah okay.” He nodded. “Let’s do it.”

Dirk grinned brightly, quite unsure of whether Todd was referring to the pizza or the whole Marriage Thing, but almost (almost) equally delighted either way.

It was, he reflected, absolutely perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> again, a big, _big_ thank you to [lucy](https://literally-not-being-literal.tumblr.com/) for letting me enthusiastically jump on their post and bring it to life. it was seriously so much fun! another huge thank u to my beta [lee](http://corgiekitten.tumblr.com) who is a shining star, a fantastic beta, and a huge encouragement <3  
>  (and a _huge_ thanks goes to my bff [anna](http://obscureenthusiast.tumblr.com) who's always willing to encourage me, read things over for me, and keep me up past midnight with angsty headcanons <3)
> 
> as always, i'm accepting prompts over at [my blog!](http://elijahwoodnot.tumblr.com) (where i'll most likely be found crying over Elijah Wood's shaved head ((he looks like an egg)), his Stupid Hat, or Dirk Gently s2)
> 
> thank you so much for reading!! <3


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